Saturday, August 30, 2008

Day 38 (T-20): Disruptions

I missed a post last night, because I went out of town without planning carefully to make sure I could fit in my Program into the travels and being around bad choices. Yesterday I did well, Eating 6 meals and not cheating one bit. Yesterday I also did My ab workout and morning HIIT of 10 INTERVALS. It was truly a great day. Today however, I suffered a bit more.  I am suffering more turbulence from this plane ride in the transition to college and finding myself and my interests. SO many things are changing and it's a bit overwhelming. The way I view certain things and my interests as well as future plans are beginning to change and evolve and it is changing who I am myself. In the middle of all of this is me and this program I've started. It is in time like these that the blog truly plays a vital role in the long term success. The positive pressure always keeps you rebounding back to where you strayed from no matter what you did or how bad you ate! I must admit that today was not a blow out but was probably the worst day I've had in a while. I am being fully honest and hold myself accountable but will not feel guilt or ashamed. I was pulled and coerced by the people around me into making choices that were not of my own accord. I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY: I must be absolutely sure of my core basic values, if not I am extremely vulnerable to have whatever values I have  knocked down and reshaped by the influence of others. 
I do feel bad today for making poor choices and not standing up for my values but in the process felt so manipulated and so untrue to myself that I was able to grow afterwards and realize that I need to be absolutely sure of what I'm doing and confident about it. I must know, that the value and the commitment of eating healthy and sticking to my plan is MORE IMPORTANT than anything else anybody tries to bring upon me. When someone offers me a hamburger or tries to ridicule me or coax me into some activity or choice not in accordance with my program, they are not respecting me and my life. THIS IS MY LIFE. And if they do not respect my eating program and my lifestyle, then they are not respecting me and I am in no way obligated to appease their wish to have me partake in some activity or make a food choice that is not ME. I will not do it. I am strong enough. I will stand up to anyone. My eating schedule and choices are always within my control. Even if I get stuck in a bad situation like I was today, It is still my fault for not planning ahead. I am blogging today to say that I am keeping myself accountable and I am continuing this program no matter what. YOU CAN ONLY FAIL IF YOU QUIT.

Thank you shredders for all of your support.

Shred on!

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