One of the fundamental things I've learned this summer is the power of focus. I have been putting way too much focus on the negativity of the program and not on the positive reward of my goal and what I'm reaching toward. In starting this program, I tried my best to follow exactly what was told to me was right to do and would work. And I did, because I focussed on the results that listening to that program would give me. Now, In phase 2 it's been a little different. Not everything is just outlined for me and as I'm implmenting my new program I'm quickly learning that some things are working and some things aren't. In an effort to get my mazimum results I've been tinkering with some things or really just thinking about them. However, I've felt myself feel guilty and like I'm betraying the program by not following it exactly and not having everything that is expected of me. The truth is, that I'm just a new soul, a new young man, and I'm just trying to discover who I am in the midsts of the world going on around me. I've found myself lost in the midsts of conflicting messages and chaos all around. But the funny thing is that eventually, If you listen long enough you start to notice patterns in the chaos and you find that things little by little start to make sense and eventually you realize that the world isn't just one way. The world is whatever you make it and life is a beautiful gift given to every human being. The world is beautiful (in this context). however, It's too easy to get lost in the chaos and not know what to do. I really love this blog, it's truly a gift that I have found it. It taps into a universal truth that as long a you keep on coming back that's all you need. We need to connect and not be afraid. And make time! I never feel I have time, but that's only cause I don't make it. I feel so alone sometimes, I'm just here and just unhappy and a lone. There's more to life then what makes you cry-Ben Harper. God, I love him.
I'm sick of being unnatural, I just want to do what i want. And that's what getting fit was all about. however it's turned into this grand fiasco of other virtues and values aside and make me fucking sick. I am me and this is my life, my blog, my destiny my wish, my everything! I can quit if I want to! I don't have to come back to this blog, this isn't my entire life. I have my whole life to live, and I certainly don't want to waste on something that's not even making me happy and just is distracting me from what I really want to do.
I'm thinking in context of the lance armstrong quote that says something like " Pain is temporary, whether it's for a second, a minute, and hour, a week, a month, or even a year. But if you don't take care of it when necessary Pain will last forever!"
That is why I'm here,That is why I'm writing, That is why I'm blogging and recording and taking my picture everyday. Not because of some BS reason. I'm doing this because I'm deciding to face this one aspect of my life that I know that if I don't take care of it, it will pain me for the rest of my life and I will suffer for eternity. I am doing this to eliminate that pain from my life. That pain that I have been feeling for years and years and that I am sick of. That is why!
I am suffering in this body and I need to be transformed. I hate being called really skiny, I hate being called fat, and poked and made fun of and told I don't look good in a bathing suit. I'm sick of being hurt and so I'm choosing to take care of this for ME. I will build my body to protect my soul from eternal punishment. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to suffer like this, and on the same token, I won't let it happen in doing this blog either. I have been feeling pain for not doing everything a 100% and yet not doing anything about it, because my goals and focus are not In front of my face all of the time.
I have been using the same goal card which is a huge problem because it doesn't really work anymore.
Also, My goal card was way too long and needs to serve the purpose of being very powerful in reminding of my goals in a concise way.
I'm so sick of this urgh....I'm going to college and I just feel all out of place: I need to get myself together and fix this issue.
I don't blog everyday cause I love to anymore, the honeymoon phase is over and now we're on to practicality. I Well, I'm out of time but I just want to say one thing before I'm finished.
I will do this: All I really want is to have a nice body like the one in my goal card. If i had that and nothing else I would be happy.
That is my goal and the medium to get there and stay there is this blog and my commitment.
I WILL REACH MY GOAL: AND I WILL USE THIS BLOG TO GET THERE> I WILL USE THE 4 PART STRATEGY OF
1) GOAL SETTING AND MOTIVATION
2) PROPER NUTRITION
3) AEROBIC TRAINING
4) WEIGHT TRAINING
I'M PRACTICALLY half way there cause I already cut my body fat and I don't care if it creeps back a little bit but I really just want to gain the muscle and then shred once again to reveal my new physique. It's really quite simple All I have to do is keep my eye on the goal and use this site consistently to get there. Let's go ! Let's do this!
LET'S GET LEAN
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