T-5 days till school starts

Well, I 'm headed off to school in just a few more days. It's been a hard time for me this summer, and quite a fundamental one in establishing some life long habits to continue. My mind has been in a twist of things in preparing from school, and I haven't been blogging really. I wish to continue blogging fully at the start of school, but I'm headed into full school prep mode and won't be blogging very much. I have not quit, but am just taking a bit of a break in the midsts of all that is happening around me.

Thank you Everyone...I'm gonna try to get back on my feet

Thank you all that left comments on my blog. I've been lacking support on the home front and it really helps to see that you guys want to see me succeed. I've just got to get back on my feet today! I was thinking today, and I realized how many negative thoughts have slipped into my day to day habits that have stopped me from doing well on my program. I am going to try today the best I can to make it work, to do it all right and break this string of negativity and temporary failure. 

   Today I remembered something that made a world of difference. I remembered reading that making mistakes is allowed and is okay and the only way to fail is to quit. I will not quit, and I am trying to become stronger. Thank you.

hmm...

Well I've got to confess that these past few days haven't been the best by far and I've felt myself pull further from the blog. I'm just not concentrating on my goals at all. This is the last day of my first week on the weight training program and it's been rather lax in terms of meeting up with all of the standards. As school approaches I feel a daunting sense of close coming to the summer and feel urges to indulge in the last moments of a high school summer. I don't really feel guilty for this at all and believe that rare oppurtunities should be taken advantage of. I'm at a weak point , but I haven't given up. I will continue to come back to my blog everytime. I will use this blog for me to be a release and an oasis, not a burden and a dungeon. I've been thrown off my schedule in all senses of the matter in the past few days, mostly of my own accord and for the benefit of things in other areas of my life which hold priority like my relationships with people and other things.

Solution:

     I believe the solution is to acheive balance once again in my life. I need to get back on a schedule, but not be on a schedule all of the time. I also need time to just do whatever i want and have fun. That's what I did today, and I don't feel bad at all about it. I'm not one to make excuses and I face my actions face to face. I need to get back on schedule.

So i've been thinking

So i've been thinking ... I've been putting way too much emphasis on this program and not on the proper things. I really don't care if anyone understands or cares what I'm talking about cause everything I'm doing here is for me and for me only. I appreciate all the help I;ve gotten but hwen it comes down to it, I can't really rely on it. 

    One of the fundamental things I've learned this summer is the power of focus. I have been putting way too much focus on the negativity of the program and not on the positive reward of my goal and what I'm reaching toward. In starting this program, I tried my best to follow exactly what was told to me was right to do and would work. And I did, because I focussed on the results that listening to that program would give me. Now, In phase 2 it's been a little different. Not everything is just outlined for me and as I'm implmenting my new program I'm quickly learning that some things are working and some things aren't. In an effort to get my mazimum results I've been tinkering with some things or really just thinking about them. However, I've felt myself feel guilty and like I'm betraying the program by not following it exactly and not having everything that is expected of me. The truth is, that I'm just a new soul, a new young man, and I'm just trying to discover who I am in the midsts of the world going on around me. I've found myself lost in the midsts of conflicting messages and chaos all around. But the funny thing is that eventually, If you listen long enough you start to notice patterns in the chaos and you find that things little by little start to make sense and eventually you realize that the world isn't just one way. The world is whatever you make it and life is a beautiful gift given to every human being. The world is beautiful (in this context). however, It's too easy to get lost in the chaos and not know what to do. I really love this blog, it's truly a gift that I have found it. It taps into a universal truth that as long a you keep on coming back that's all you need. We need to connect and not be afraid. And make time! I never feel I have time, but that's only cause I don't make it. I feel so alone sometimes, I'm just here and just unhappy and a lone. There's more to life then what makes you cry-Ben Harper. God, I love him. 

I'm sick of being unnatural, I just want to do what i want. And that's what getting fit was all about. however it's turned into this grand fiasco of other virtues and values aside and make me fucking sick. I am me  and this is my life, my blog, my destiny my wish, my everything! I can quit if I want to! I don't have to come back to this blog, this isn't my entire life. I have my whole life to live, and I certainly don't want to waste on something that's not even making me happy and just is distracting me from what I really want to do.

    I'm thinking in context of the lance armstrong quote that says something like " Pain is temporary, whether it's for a second, a minute, and hour, a week, a month, or even a year. But if you don't take care of it when necessary Pain will last forever!" 

   That is why I'm here,That is why I'm writing, That is why I'm blogging and recording and taking my picture everyday. Not because of some BS reason. I'm doing this because I'm deciding to face this one aspect of my life that I know that if I don't take care of it, it will pain me for the rest of my life and I will suffer for eternity. I am doing this to eliminate that pain from my life. That pain that I have been feeling for years and years and that I am sick of. That is why! 

     I am suffering in this body and I need to be transformed. I hate being called really skiny, I hate being called fat, and poked and made fun of and told I don't look good in a bathing suit. I'm sick of being hurt and so I'm choosing to take care of this for ME. I will build my body to protect my soul from  eternal punishment. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to suffer like this, and on the same token, I won't let it happen in doing this blog either. I have been feeling pain for not doing everything a 100% and yet not doing anything about it, because my goals and focus are not In front of my face all of the time. 

I have been using the same goal card which is a huge problem because it doesn't really work anymore.

Also, My goal card was way too long and needs to serve the purpose of being very powerful in reminding of my goals in a concise way.

I'm so sick of this urgh....I'm going to college and I just feel all out of place: I need to get myself together and fix this issue. 

I don't blog everyday cause I love to anymore, the honeymoon phase is over and now we're on to practicality. I Well, I'm out of time but I just want to say one thing before I'm finished.

I will do this: All I really want is to have a nice body like the one in my goal card. If i had that and nothing else I would be happy.

That is my goal and the medium to get there and stay there is this blog and my commitment.

I WILL REACH MY GOAL: AND I WILL USE THIS BLOG TO GET THERE> I WILL USE THE 4 PART STRATEGY OF 

1) GOAL SETTING AND MOTIVATION

2) PROPER NUTRITION

3) AEROBIC TRAINING

4) WEIGHT TRAINING

I'M PRACTICALLY half way there cause I already cut my body fat and I don't care if it creeps back a little bit but I really just want to gain the muscle and then shred once again to reveal my new physique. It's really quite simple All I have to do is keep my eye on the goal and use this site consistently to get there. Let's go ! Let's do this!

LET'S GET LEAN

Day 46 (T-83): Keep on coming back

Day 2 of 84

Did I make today count; how much? Today pretty much counted for what it was worth. Today was an Off day so all I had to do was eat right and I did alright at doing that.

Did I sacrifice today in order to be a step closer to my goal?

Physically there wasn't anything to sacrifice today since it is an OFF day. I need to sort out some kinks in my program so that everything is "A okay". Anyways I believe that the most important thing right now is establishing this schedule into my routine firmly before the start of school and not sweating the details ( I don't mean nutrition or training) a whole lot beside working my but t off in the gym and eating right. As long as I do that and keep on coming back to blog every night to keep my self accountable in real time I'll be good.

College is soon and I am so excited for it!

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Accountability: All that really matters :)

Chart:

Pics:

Day 45 (T-84): Phase 2 has begun

I have decided to go on a 84 day weight muscle gaining mission  and it has begun today. 

Did I make today count; how much? I think today was a good start but with great room for improvement. These last few days of research and preparation have separated me a bit from the blog and support and I have felt tendencies to give into temptations; however, I have kept a positive mindset.

Did I sacrifice today in order to be a step closer to my goal?

I don't feel that I sacrificed enough. I forgot how difficult things are when they're first starting off, that is why I felt like the first few days of the last phase lasted weeks when in fact they were nothing compared to the time after. Well, this time isn't as bad, but I must respect the fact that it's difficult and just bite my lip and say " I will do this!"

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Accountability: All that really matters :)

Chart:

Pics:

Day 44: A new direction

I have pretty much finished developing Phase 2 and am in the process of setting some deadlines and goals. This part is very important and is the reason why I've come this far. It's quite hard to figure everything out and know exactly what I'm going to do with all of this information out there and a lot of it contradicting itself. 

Yesterday was an off day with some well deserved rewards meals. I did notice however that even though I didn't exercise at all, my energy levels were extremely low. I'd been doing cardio twice a day and either abs or full body weights each day. So, I guess I'm better off eating clean and shredding hard than eating crap and doing nothing. My body likes the former better, and frankly so do I. 

SO.....

I'm learning a lot and here's what I've got going for me so far

I've modified my system as follows:

1. Goal setting/ motivation: I am in the process of setting new goals, goal dates, and making a new goal card

2. Nutrition  -I've increased my calories to 3200 and am maintaining the same 50% carbs 30% protein 20% fat proportions.

3. Aerobic Training: Since I am in a gain phase I've cut cardio to 3 HIIT on tue,thur,sat

4. Weight Training: After some extensive research I've decided to stick to full body weights 3 times per week @ about 45 minutes each session. I will stay on this until my gains slow significantly and then I will switch to a split day routine.  I've learned some very important information on weight lifting technique in regards to form and other things. I've leaned by watching an episode of "the fit show" featuring Milo the (former Mr. Universe) about trying 100% on each rep and squeeze the muscle and lifting the weight by squeezing, not powering. Wow: Great info!

I am considering today a limbo day phase or rather a Day 0 prep day and tomorrow I will have official mission goals and plans as well as accountability! 

Thank you Adam for suggesting Tom Venutos Secrets site!

Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning!

Shred on!

Day 42 (T-16): Time to switch thing up!!!!

Today is a special day!

This morning I took measurements and was quite pleased with the results:

STATS:

Weight: 140

Caliper reading: 9mm

Approx. Body fat : 9%

LBM: 127.4

I was really quite shocked I checked my measurements over and over but it was true! I reached my goal ahead of time of acheiving below 10% body fat and My LBM went up slightly from last time (not quite a full pound)

I think what attributed to my success this time around was the aggressive implementation of my weight lifting regiment. Before I was still unfamiliar and learning a bit. But this past week I really kicked it into high gear and it paid off!

So what does this all mean?

I've thought about this a little bit and have decided to Move to Phase 2 of Mission 1 ahead of schedule which is a bulking phase.

- I accomplished my goal for the first phase of getting below 10% body: I wanted to get down to this initially before bulking up to get rid of most of my belly flab. Now that a majority of it is gone, I believe it will be more efficient and beneficial to me to begin a bulking phase. Now let's get this straight: When I say bulking I mean that my goal would be to GAIN LBM and MAINTAIN Fat %.

After phase 2 is over and mission 1 complete I will go back into another shredding phase to unveil my muscular physique more by dropping my bf % even lower.

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TODAY: September 3, 2008

Did I make today count; how much? Oh yeah today counted ( I love this question because it emotes an honest accurate answer): I really worked my butt off today and felt it in my body. I have set new goals and plans to be unveiled

Did I sacrifice today in order to be a step closer to my goal? Yes, definitely! I did a circuit training workout for my weights with one minute jump rope in between each sets. There were many times that I wanted to quit early and didn't have the drive and started thinking negative thoughts. But I persevered and told myself " I will do this, I will do this!" and made it through! :)

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Accountability:

Chart:

Pics: (I flexed a little : 0 )

Day 0 Day 42

I'm doing some research on muscle gaining and would appreciate any advise : )

Thank you everyone!

Shred On!

Day 41 (T-17): Did today count? Sure did!

Did I make today count; how much? Today I did all that I could do exercise wise: I could’ve done better eating wise and sticking to schedule wise

Did I sacrifice today in order to be a step closer to my goal?

Yes I definitely did: I came home from the movie at 10 and still went for a 30 minute run YEAH!

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Accountability: All that really matters :)

Chart:

Pics:

Day 40 (T-18): Now is the time...

----Wow, I've been at this for 40 days now: Now I can truly appreciate Jesus. Haha no...actually there has been just as much pleasure in this journey as there's been pain. The walls of my blog and background of my pictures have seen a lot of things change: around me, inside of me, and as the pictures tell, outside of me.
----This journey of 40 days has been a huge learning experience and I don't regret one bit of it. I don't regret the times when I couldn't say no to going out to dinner, because I kept coming back. i don't regret the times I skipped a workout, because I came back. I don't regret not giving my 100% effort every day, Because I came back. I don't regret any part of these last 40 days honestly for one reason and one reason only, and that reason is that I am here right now and I haven't quit! I have come back time after time, and I will continue to come back.
----These last 40 days I have learned a lot and made plenty of mistakes to prove it, but now that I've learned a thing or two about this whole process, NOW IS THE TIME. Now is the time to take it to the next level. Now is the time to accelerate full speed towards my goals. I have 18 days left until I start school and I've still got plenty ways to go to reach my goal of below 10% (Preferably 9%). If I achieve my goal, I will reward myself by decorating my body with temporary tattoos and sporting them everywhere I go. Once I achieve my goal I will immediately proceed into Phase Two of Mission One: Time to Pack on some Meat.
----For the next 18 days i will slave away to reach as low of a body fat percentage as possible to reach my goal. This blog is the reason I'm here connecting and trying to improve myself because no matter what happens: You can only fail if you quit! I WILL NOT quit! I WILL DO THIS!!!I AM: LEAN FOR LIFE.

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